The hair-cut...

After a few more annoying innocent comments like: "isn't SHE cute!" and "whats HER name?" from complete strangers and of course, the upcoming trip to grandma's,  it felt only right to get him his first professional haircut.  I was told of a local barber in our small downtown who actually gives "new timer's" like Greyson an official "First Cut" certificate; I was super excited with the thought of even more scrapbook material and some photo-op moments!

As we waited patiently, I observed a little boy happily licking his sucker as his long blond strands fell to the black and white checkered tile floor.  I explained to my son that he too would soon be able to sit on the big black leather chair with a big red lollipop in hand.  He grinned with delight and lifted his arms to the chair as if he couldn't wait a second longer.  Soon after, we were called up. After some quick greetings and small talk,  our Barber, Mr. S got to business.  He placed a rather large "cape"  or "big-boy bib" as he called it over Greyson and tied it around his neck and it began....  He began crying.  Not just a whiny "can-I-get-down-now?" cry, but a screeching at the top of his lungs, foaming at the mouth, body aerobics kind of scene.  Mind you, no scissors were even in sight yet!   I pulled out his beloved miniature sized wooden Thomas train, I gave him my car keys,  and even bribed him with the lollipop. All of course, without success.

Mr. S.'s shop quickly filled up with every seat taken. I felt the impending pressure on Mr. S to move along quickly.  I gained my composure and held him down tightly in the chair with no room for wiggles as the cutting began.  As I held tighter, his flailing arms and legs kicked harder and faster.   His face now the reddest shade of red I have ever seen.  He cried so hard he held his breath for a few seconds what seemed like an eternity.  Mr. S anchored Greyson's neck down to his chin like a pro. My little boy screaming, gagging to the point of visible stomach twitching as if seconds from vomiting.

Through the screaming, gagging and kicking, I thought back to the countless times I had to hold down children in the ER for administering medications, shots and sutures.  In that moment, I couldn't help but feel a connection with all of "those mom's" who seemed they couldn't "hold it together" or even those that asked us to "be more gentle" as I held their child's face while sutures were being placed centimeters above their eye.

Ahh, that life-comes-full-circle theme keeps popping up everywhere... And in that moment, I made peace with those poor moms I considered "weak" and with the memories of my past life as a "get the job done" persona,  and I did what this new me had to do.   I removed him from the chair, hugged him tightly and thanked Mr. S for a job well done despite the unfinished business. We didn't get a photo, or a certificate and his hair....well, lets just say it wouldn't win any hair-cut contests.

Sickie-Boy Love

Sadly, my sweet baby toddler, has a little cold.  Fever every 6 hours accompanied by cough and congestion and runny nose....  During these 36 hours, I've had the most kisses on the lips, really long hugs and he actually sat on my lap watching The View for over 15 minutes while we waited for the motrin to kick-in.  In no way am I promoting illness in some sick and twisted manner to get my "lovie fix",  but it did feel nice!  It also felt great to see him back to his old self climbing inside the refrigerator and sliding down the stairs as fast as his little body could go!

I hope he knows that I am always here for him especially in times when he needs me most!

I love you my sickie-boy; Now, get better so we can go swimming!

Hiking South Mountain, NC: A Photo Blog

               Today, we decided to take a family hike to South Mountain State Park.

                       Me, smiling because we finally reached the top: What a workout!
                          More so for my husband who is carrying an additional 25 lbs!

                         But, after climbing and more climbing, this was the reward!

                                             And this! ( he loves water!)

                Looked like they were having fun!  Maybe one day we can jump in too!

                       Playing in the creek. (the water felt pretty cool, but he didn't care!)

                           He loved our day excursion as did we!  I think we'll be back!

Its official..boo-bear (the original) is gone for good ;(

Yes, it happened. Greyson's boo-bear (aka: blankie) is now in blankie heaven. Somewhere amidst the many dingy, ripped but loved bears, there he is, floating upon the soft puffy clouds...Or, in some dumpster put there by an oblivious Ingels Supermarket employee who found it (evidently, not a parent) and thought, Ehheww, gross!

By the third aisle of the supermarket, I became keenly aware that boo-bear was no longer attached to Greyson.  I quickly retraced our steps... over and over to no avail.  I was literally getting sick to my stomach after running down every grocery aisle, asking each department from the bakery to the meat section.  Finally, after frantically harassing every shopper with the description of boo-bear, and speaking to the office staff twice, I gave up. Well, not exactly.  I returned again in the evening to harass the next shift employees (just in case proper report was not given) and then called 2 more times that evening, but nothing...

And yes, it happened again, my son dealt with it superbly.  He has been taking the "poser" boo-bear at nap-time and bedtime now for 4 consecutive days without a hitch!
Me, on the other hand, I am still mourning it's loss and fighting the daily urge to call Ingels even though they clearly said "Ma'am, we'll call you!" You think calling 5 times in one day inquiring about a stuffed bear was excessive???

Anyway, as I put him to sleep tonight, I realized he didn't seem to have the same passion or the same Je ne sais quoi while holding THIS bear.  He no longer deeply smells THIS bear.  Nonetheless, he graciously accepted the poser bear each and every time knowing it wasn't the one.   His adaptability and flexibility amazes me!

transcending the gaps...

Having a child gives you a new perspective on many things... For me, not only has it changed the way I look at life, but also the way I remember my past and things taken for granted. In particular, I now find myself thinking a lot about my parents and their early struggles as they raised my sister and me.

Both my mother and father, came to this country shortly after they wed with one sole mission: to give their unborn children a better life. They did this with very little in their pockets and only a few words of English to get by on. They struggled with everything that we take so easily for granted, like earning a living and learning a new language in order to survive in their new environment.

My mother worked through the majority of my infancy & toddler years in a sewing factory and my father for a construction company in Philadelphia. I often think about how my mom must have felt dropping me off at daycare every day...Her heart breaking as she went out into that unfamiliar world, day after day, all for the purpose of giving us more... Although I know she would have loved to have the opportunity to raise my sister and me at home, that was not an option. I imagined her picking us up after putting in long hours at the factory, wrists still sore, making dinner while my dad was in by dusk. Although he was surely tired and his body aching from his long day, he always took time for hugs and kisses. I can still smell his cement-dusted, smiling face. Those few hours before bed-time was all they had with us, before starting all-over again.

I have so many fond memories of our time spent together. My favorite is that of playing in the sand and chasing seagulls. Their faces are vividly imprinted as I reminisce over these images, and those tender moments. I remember them lovingly watching us as we played, with that familiar sweet look. We would take day-trips to the beach on their free weekends and sometimes picnics at parks and much later we took a week at a time, for our summer family vacation. It probably set them back a pretty penny but, it became a tradition we looked forward to with excitement every year.

Although their free time was limited, they placed both of us in a Portuguese evening school a few times a week to better learn our native tongue. We were taught both reading & writing in Portuguese, along with history and culture.

As they continued working hard and saving diligently, their finances improved and we were able to visit their homeland: Portugal. They blessed us with the opportunity, for several summers, to meet our many cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents that welcomed us into their lives and enriched us with a culture that made us who we are today.

When I tell my mom about my son's day; his play-dates, his library program, his gymnastics and even his music class, she sounds amazed. Amazed and excited at how much there is to offer a little one year old these days. But somewhere in her voice, I hear her heart wishing, perhaps wondering why she didn't do more for us...and then suddenly it all makes sense. I remember our beach trips, our trips to Portugal and the prized weekends spent together and I see that look. The look of love only a mother or father can give...The look that is so familiar to me now that transcends any cultural or generational gap that ever existed. No music or gymnastic class can compete with it. That look says it all: You loved us just the same as I love my Greyson, no more and no less and that is all I could ask for.

Although somewhat biased, you were and are the best parents ever! I only wish I didn't take so many little and not so little things for granted.
Thank you!

The life of a Rock Star...

Us then....


This blog goes out to my dear friend Denise, who once told my husband and I about 4 years ago that we lived like "rock stars". I guess I just didn't quite understand what she meant then. But, I do now!


Having become parents after 9 years of living childless, I now realize my friend Denise was right. We did indeed live like rock stars! Here are just a few examples...

Our days off were mostly unplanned and always an adventure. We woke up whenever we decided. Bad night sleep, no problem naps were always an option! We tried to keep fit either by going to the gym, biking or running together.

Now: there are no days off...maybe an hour or two in shifts. Exercising only if we have the energy on much less sleep and always feeling guilty, but in shifts.


Getting ready to go out then was as much fun as the night out itself(or at least, what it seems like now!) I took nice long showers or bubble baths (whatever my little heart desired..)completely dried my hair section by section, making each strand perfect! I used specific lotions for face, body and feet.

Now: 4 1/2 minute showers ( I timed it once...) No blow dry-just a wet dripping ponytail, and maybe one lotion goes everywhere cream. When we do go out and have a babysitter, He is always on my mind..not neurotically, but he is there!


Accessorizing before: the trendiest bangles and bracelets

Now: extra pony-tail band around my wrist(in red or yellow..it doesn't matter) and if I am really feeling fancy, you'll see me sporting sunglasses on my head (rain or shine)to hold back my hair.

Eating Out then was always spontaneous! We indulged in whatever we so desired. Taking in the aroma, the flavor, making eye contact and having good conversation over some vino or a few margaritas with friends or just us, whatever...

Now: Much less eating out. Again, we eat in shifts. Conversation, always interrupted but mostly to our little guy pleading for him not throw food to the lovely childless couple next to us as they give us THAT look! The few times we do eat out, we must return before the magical bewitching hour of 6:30pm when our son suddenly turns into Grumpy Bear. Fine dining now includes anywhere limited to restaurants with tables we can write on...Bye-bye Mekvilli, at least for awhile!


Entertainment then: Movie theatre 3-4 times a month plus a Broadway show here and there...tickets to a last minute football game: we were there!

Now: Bootleg DVD (if we're lucky, they are not subtitled in some strange foreign language; that was fun...)


Vacationing Then: truly relaxing 'No Kids Allowed" resorts with daily massage/facials, naps in the sun, reading a few novels in less than a week! Naps together, and more naps...
Now: kid friendly and dog friendly places only...vacation?? Uh, I would refer to it more as physical challenge boot camp with kids and pets!


Although this may be somewhat exaggerated (sadly, probably not...) and sound very bleak, especially to those that are childless, here are just two things that outweigh all of this... I mean ALL of it!


*The look he gives me when he wakes up that makes me feel like a million bucks even on a day I haven't showered in a few days, and haven't brushed my teeth yet and "slept in the clothes I wore yesterday" kind of day. The look that tells me, he is my BIGGEST fan! Yep, THAT look!

*When he says "Mam-Mum" or "Da-Da"...In that moment, I realize that we are fully responsible for this little human life that is right in front of us, WOW, what an amazing, indescribable feeling that leaves you knowing you would never give this up for that other life. I certainly don't live like a rock star anymore, but right then, in that moment, I felt like one!

and us now!

These are the "rock star" red carpet events we frequent:our local library's Baby Bookworm class!

This is love...sweet love

About 3 months ago, my son finally began sleeping through the night. For the majority of those months I prayed and hoped he would reach this milestone and give me more than just a few consecutive hours of sleep. So indeed, I have been thrilled for him and selfishly for myself in having some uninterrupted sleep again. But last night, he woke up twice, maybe dreaming, maybe teething. I felt an amazing feeling in consoling him each time, a feeling that I never felt even when this was all I did those early months...I held him tightly, rocking him and humming his favorite lullaby, Rock-A-Bye-Baby. His legs started to relax and his body limp on my chest. His whimpering ceased, and his heart beat slowed down. I looked at him and him at me, as if to make sure I was still there. My legs felt weak and my heart pitter-pattered and I thought: there is no other feeling like this...This is love, sweet love.

As I went through the day, I thought about how quickly this year had gone by and how long those days felt during those first few months. I wished I could go back and enjoy, really enjoy that precious time with less fear, less anxiety more amazement & joy. I reminisced through his "baby" pictures and started tearing at this amazing blessing that was bestowed on our lives. My throat began to tighten and my heart to really thump and I thought: there is no other feeling like this...This is love, sweet love.


If you have ever met my son, you know, he is never still for very long. He loves to discover what his body can accomplish and what the world has to offer. Therefore, snuggling with him usually only occurs when he tires from his adventures. But today, in the middle of crawling, climbing, walking and removing every tupper-ware container I owned, he looked over at me, took 5 steps and fell into my lap and hugged me, really hugged me for what felt like more than 10 seconds. He looked up with a smile then quickly resumed his activity. At that moment, my heart pitter-pattered and I thought: there is no other feeling like this...This is love, sweet love.


This is one of the many "favorite" photos that really captures the moment.

Nap-times are priceless

Nap-times are priceless. The hardest part though, is deciding what to do in those 90 or so minutes. Wah,wah,wah! Yes the life of a stay-at-home mom, I get it; stop the whine! Nevertheless, these are my usual options: catching up on my phone call list, house cleaning, the treadmill, or beauty & hygiene.

Unfortunately, it sucks when you pick the wrong one for the day...

Ever have that day when the house is a total disaster, I don't mean just a few dirty dishes in the kitchen sink and a bed or two to make...I'm talking "dog-gone chaos where your scared where your feet will land next" kind-a-mess! Perhaps the daunting task of cleaning it all up seemed overwhelming and although clearly, cleaning should have been the choice, I picked a bath instead. After a week of a teething toddler and entertaining guests, I felt entitled to a day for me! A long, bubbly bath with all the girlie scents I could muster together. (By the way, lavender & vanilla by Suave with Bath & Body's Cherry Blossom are great together!) I even made an aromatic herbal tea to sip and lit an apple spice candle as I enjoyed the peace and the quiet. I began to relax and forget about the splattered grape juice on the wall and the smashed banana pieces under the table that even the dogs forgot to lick up...

Aahh! the peace...and quiet...my eyes felt heavy and my body relaxed...That is, until the doorbell rang!

Uggh, I thought, as I rushed and covered up with a towel and robe and wondered what gadget my husband ordered this time that would be the cause of this disruption! I slowly walk over to the living room carefully determining each foot placement in order not to trip over choo-choo trains and tractors. My heart starts to race as the sound of a child at the door becomes more evident... Now my mind starts racing until a recollection of me inviting over a new friend for Greyson and his mommy we had just met at the park two days ago becomes more and more clear.

For a brief second I think, I could hide and not answer... I mean, what an awful impression! How could I let this person I barely know see what a horrific home I keep. I imagined the look of horror as she entered my home clinging to her son tightly.

While getting closer to our entrance, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror: A barefoot and robed, towel-turban scatterbrain!

Walking over to the front door, feet still stomping wet, I opened it. She looked somewhat confused as I greeted her warmly and invited them inside (right before kicking a dirty sock my dog had been chewing behind the door). As she walked in I noticed something strange....OMG!, she too was wearing a robe and towel turban!?!?!? what?!

Then suddenly, the sound of a child crying from the baby monitor becomes more and more recognizable as little G's cry...My eyes opened and I realized I just had the best nap ever...AHH! Nap-times are priceless...

the beautiful summer morning...

We had a beautiful summer morning today and what better family fun activity, I thought, than a bike ride through our local trail called, the Greenway. This would be a great opportunity to show Greyson how much fun exercise can be while sharing stories and observing nature. We could even skip stones and splash our feet in the river. Oh, what fun!

Here is my husband's vision of a beautiful summer morning on the bike trail...and what really happened.

We get out of the car, remove our bikes from the back, he attaches Greysons' trailer to his bike then hands me a water-bottle and looks at me with a smile, as if to say "catch me if you can" as he speeds off into "his sunset" leaving me in the dust...

I started pedaling as fast as I could, but my husband was kicking my butt even with a little 1 year old attached behind him on the bike trailer. He seemed to effortlessly fly up hills that I had no recollection of existing there. I hate to lose, but my legs felt like jelly just after a few minutes..

How could I be this out of shape, half of the time I'm running around on chase patrol of my energizer bunny, I mean child, and the other half I'm lugging him on my arm while picking up his toys. Doesn't that count as power squats??

Then, after much whining & complaining, and huffing and puffing, a sense of power came over me as I remembered, I gave birth to a child, naturally for 7 hours! Yes, that's right no drugs! I did a half-marathon and even completed a sprint triathlon...Gee, I could do anything for an hour! This soon became my mantra for the the rest of the ride: "I can do anything for an hour, I labored for 7 hours! I can do anything for an hour!"

I felt inspired again! I started singing my favorite U2 play list songs that were now running through my head. Even the burning ache in my thighs seemed to disappear! In that moment I felt like "ME"! Oh it had been so long since I had felt that rush. For this past year was ALL about our precious little boy. And although it should be mostly about him, I think I was beginning to lose myself in the everyday Greyson routine. It is very easy to do that...I was starting to forget what made Greyson's mommy different then any other mommy.

Motherhood is an absolute blessing, but it doesn't have to be all encompassing. Yes, I love my baby but I also love to cook, drink a glass of wine at sunset, love to read, love my husband and yes, I love a good bike challenge from him too!

Sorry, this story will not end with my victorious win, as Helen Reddy's "I am Woman" plays in the backdrop...But, I came close and we did splash in the river... Although it didn't go as planned, what a beautiful summer morning!


Above are my two winners and teachers...Thank you for reminding me to be ME!

Now that's sexy...

It recently dawned on me as I watched the young "sexy" lifeguards at our club pool today, that I have a new perspective on the definition of sexy... Sure, Robert Downey Jr. in Ironman with his sculpted biceps and his action-packed fearlessness is still sexy just as Gerald Butlers sexy accent and bad boy charm can still make me do a double look-over...




But my inclusion criteria has, lets just say, been broadened over the last year...

I have been with my husband Johnny now for over 9 years and since he became a father just this past year, many more things seem sexy...

like when I see his face as he comes home from work after a long day and meets eyes with his son and drops his bag to go race tractors on the floor as Greyson smiles, saying "Dadda" like his super hero has just arrived!


and when they make eggs together on his days off as he describes his cooking techniques while Greyson intently listens as if trying to capture every detail.

when he randomly decides to wake up before I do and I sense him closing the bedroom door so that I can sleep in...

or even when he worries... (more than I do sometimes) about the little things that could possibly go wrong and I see that fear of losing his precious son in his eyes..that's a little bit sexy too!

And nothing, nothing is sexier then when I come into Greyson's room to find my husband changing the stinkiest, smelliest poopy diaper(Yes, the one's that go up the back) all while asking him, in the silliest, high pitched "who's got a stinky poo-poo?" voice. Now that's sexy with a capital "S"...even if he does wear his disposable latex gloves that he brings home from work...





Beat that Gerald Butler!
Yeah-this may not be everyone's definition of sexy, but it's mine, all mine:)

The case of the missing bear...

While rushing to get ready for baby bookworm this morning, I realized Greyson's Boo-Bear was not in his crib where it had been just 2 hours before it became MIA. Those of you who are saying, "what's a boo-bear? " have no idea our predicament. Boo-bear, who is also known as, blankie-bear, or snuggly-wuggly-bear, has been with Greyson from birth and present at almost every nap, night-night time and any and all traumatic events aka: boo-boo's.

So, I retraced my steps and went as far as to retrace his crawls, yes, I did! I searched high and low, through trash cans, emptied out the wet clothes in the dryer, rummaged through all drawers reachable by a little 2 foot person. Checked dishwasher, refrigerator drawers, opened freezer just in case he snuck in there while my back was turned (yes, this is all too possible with my curious and energetic little boy!)

Your probably thinking, "if this bear is so important shouldn't you have a replacement for times like this?" We do. Exact match with same lion logo and all. EXCEPT, it is much cleaner, smells much much better, and doesn't have all of his favorite holes to stick fingers in while falling asleep.

We have used "the other bear" only once previously about 2 months ago for a very short period of time while that search was taking place. It didn't go so well...My little guy couldn't be duped! He knew it was a dummy who was impersonating his real Boo Bear and he wasn't having it! As soon as he saw it he immediately dropped it and cried in dispair. I tried to use clever mommy tactics like distractions and even tried to convince him he could forgo his nap and play instead! "Wouldn't that sound like more fun!" I thought? Not at the point when he could sense this over-attention while he grew more and more tired.

Luckily then, the real bear was found by some church friends who were able to contact us quickly after it was left behind. About two seconds after getting his bear back, he did a cry-giggle then fell asleep! Case closed.

Search number two is looking a bit more bleak... It is now 4 hours and counting into this investigation with not a clue to be found!

My heart was racing as nap-time grew closer, and closer. The rubbing of the eyes, the inattention to his favorite toys, even splashing in the waddling pool was getting old. I continued with my normal nap time routine even though I feared he sensed my anxiety. I warmed his bottle an extra few seconds, added a little touch of honey to his milk, gave him his paci, AND....snuck in the dummy bear. He looked at the bear realizing it wasn't "THE ONE" and to my surprise closed his eyes and went to sleep! WOW, I was dumbfounded!


Lesson learned: don't underestimate your child; they may just surprise you!

And here I am, writing about this as he sleeps! Whew! Did I just miss a huge tantrum, atleast until nap #2...

p.s. I have come to the conclusion that the missing bear was either a.) flushed down the toilet or b.) somewhere in our yard burried by one of our dogs! To be continued....

This is a replica of Boo Bear last seen in G's crib at approximately 7 am. Reward given for his safe return home.

Birthday Morning Balloon Surprise! (6-14)

This is a photo gallery of surprising a little boy with balloons...



Below is Greyson right before we woke him.


For all the love and joy he gives us, we thought some balloons and kisses would show him our gratitude!

When life throws you lemons...

Suck it up and spit out the seeds!! This is G eating his most favorite citrus fruit: a lemon!

There is no one better to learn sheer determination and positivity than from a child...my son teaches me this everyday.

Failure, what failure? Can't do it the first time? Try and try again even with a giggle or two!

Although a master at climbing our stairs, he has learned that not all steps are measured equally, so to speak. Our step ladder, a mere 2 steps, has a larger height separation making climbing for such a little guy a bit more of a challenge. He started out at step 1 (the closest to the ground) successfully climbed, looked up at me and applauded himself after gaining his balance.

Step two was tricky... He tried lifting his right leg, but the step was just too high and awkward for his little legs. He tried with his left, same predicament. Just as he was starting to ask for help saying "mama", he slid down to the floor and started over, climbed step one, pulled with his arms while lifting his leg, gained momentum and reached his destination! Another round of applause ensued as he looked up at us with glee as if he had just climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro!



Wouldn't it be great to feel this fulfilled throughout the day with the little things that go right, and not dwell on the things that didn't?