transcending the gaps...

Having a child gives you a new perspective on many things... For me, not only has it changed the way I look at life, but also the way I remember my past and things taken for granted. In particular, I now find myself thinking a lot about my parents and their early struggles as they raised my sister and me.

Both my mother and father, came to this country shortly after they wed with one sole mission: to give their unborn children a better life. They did this with very little in their pockets and only a few words of English to get by on. They struggled with everything that we take so easily for granted, like earning a living and learning a new language in order to survive in their new environment.

My mother worked through the majority of my infancy & toddler years in a sewing factory and my father for a construction company in Philadelphia. I often think about how my mom must have felt dropping me off at daycare every day...Her heart breaking as she went out into that unfamiliar world, day after day, all for the purpose of giving us more... Although I know she would have loved to have the opportunity to raise my sister and me at home, that was not an option. I imagined her picking us up after putting in long hours at the factory, wrists still sore, making dinner while my dad was in by dusk. Although he was surely tired and his body aching from his long day, he always took time for hugs and kisses. I can still smell his cement-dusted, smiling face. Those few hours before bed-time was all they had with us, before starting all-over again.

I have so many fond memories of our time spent together. My favorite is that of playing in the sand and chasing seagulls. Their faces are vividly imprinted as I reminisce over these images, and those tender moments. I remember them lovingly watching us as we played, with that familiar sweet look. We would take day-trips to the beach on their free weekends and sometimes picnics at parks and much later we took a week at a time, for our summer family vacation. It probably set them back a pretty penny but, it became a tradition we looked forward to with excitement every year.

Although their free time was limited, they placed both of us in a Portuguese evening school a few times a week to better learn our native tongue. We were taught both reading & writing in Portuguese, along with history and culture.

As they continued working hard and saving diligently, their finances improved and we were able to visit their homeland: Portugal. They blessed us with the opportunity, for several summers, to meet our many cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents that welcomed us into their lives and enriched us with a culture that made us who we are today.

When I tell my mom about my son's day; his play-dates, his library program, his gymnastics and even his music class, she sounds amazed. Amazed and excited at how much there is to offer a little one year old these days. But somewhere in her voice, I hear her heart wishing, perhaps wondering why she didn't do more for us...and then suddenly it all makes sense. I remember our beach trips, our trips to Portugal and the prized weekends spent together and I see that look. The look of love only a mother or father can give...The look that is so familiar to me now that transcends any cultural or generational gap that ever existed. No music or gymnastic class can compete with it. That look says it all: You loved us just the same as I love my Greyson, no more and no less and that is all I could ask for.

Although somewhat biased, you were and are the best parents ever! I only wish I didn't take so many little and not so little things for granted.
Thank you!